Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Wolf: A Popular Modern Word!

Edan is white, so white in fact that his last name is Portnoy. Edan looks like Oasis, but he would have you believe otherwise. Race is a construct.

Great, amazing, great again piece on Sun City Girls that you should read as soon as you have about nine hours of free time. The only way to care about this band is to see them live. A billion page article about them tripping in Morocco is nothing like seeing them live: paradox. A great way to read articles this long at work is to e-mail them to one’s office inbox, so that one looks like they are reading interoffice e-mail. I put “Important: Rush Memo Flash Product Standard Ship It” as the subject line of mine.

Heathen Shame has their second real album (nerds taping shows and putting them on Soulseek so that I can download them and then mock them for it in my internet diary = not an album) coming out in a couple weeks. It is the first Twisted Village record to not look retarded.

David Lynch is on a mission to get taught Transcendental Meditation taught in public school and is willing to start an insane foundation to do so. He has also eaten the same lunch in the same restaurant every day for twenty years. David Lynch wants to make your life into a dream sequence.

You know how almost everyone who writes in McSweeney’s writes their McSweeney’s material in a fairly identical style, and how the monarchy of font and temperance in everything they publish is beginning to make their schtick ring false? “We don’t have an agenda, we’re guys and chicks like you… you know, how you like the way the words ‘Death Cab’ and ‘Valencia’ look in Helvetica, and we can just hang out, or you know, whatever!” The weird part is that the publication is now getting much funnier, more interesting material out of their readership than they have from their bande a literati in years. Observe today’s Reviews of New Food and tell me you’d take Robert Coover’s thirty-ninth retelling of The Wiz over sharp beats on “the Blade Runner of dumplings”.

The vice president of Sudan died in a plane crash. The first thing I thought to myself upon reading this was, “Man, the vice president of Sudan looked like the Big Bopper.” If you don’t understand why that correlation is intense, we’re through. Though not really, cause it even took me like five minutes after I thought it to realize how awesome I am.


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